


Set Fire to the Rain

by chemicalburnfromthespiralperm



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Preseries, Weecest, Wincest - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-08-19
Updated: 2012-08-19
Packaged: 2017-11-12 10:57:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 692
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/490122
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/chemicalburnfromthespiralperm/pseuds/chemicalburnfromthespiralperm
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sam casts a spell on himself to garner attention from John and Dean</p>
            </blockquote>





	Set Fire to the Rain

Wicca. Tarot. Black magic. Latin. Enochian. African white magick. Astrology. Astronomy. Pagan Gods. Rituals. Celtic Neopaganism. Nova Roma. Haitian Vodou.

Basically, anything Sam could get his hands on to make him smarter, to make his father look at him without something other than disappointment etched into the deepset lines on his face, to make Dean actually notice him.

That was harsh. Dean did notice him. It wasn’t fair of him to say otherwise, but with Dean growing older, growing faster and growing stronger, it was few and far between that Sam got a word in edgewise with the dynamic hunting duo that was John and Dean Winchester, so Sam watched, however silently, from the sidelines as his father carefully and slowly pulled his brother away from him.

Sometimes the sting of knowing that Dad was slowly becoming Dean’s best friend hurt worse than knowing one day neither of them would notice him at all, and maybe that’s what’s driving him, maybe that small sliver of despair is what’s driving him to get straight As in the first place? Sam isn’t sure. He just knows that he can’t deal with losing his brother to someone like his father.

So Sam doesn’t like to hunt. So Sam isn’t good at shooting (but give him a knife and not many lived to tell about it). So maybe Sam is better at the spells and the rituals and the research. Big deal. He’s still apart of this family.

Even Sam has to scoff at that. Black sheep, black sheep, have you any wool?

Sam hasn’t been apart of this family for a long time. Dean may still regard him as the best thing that ever happened to him but more and more every day he feels his sanity slipping out from beneath his feet, feels everything he holds near and dear to him, Dean, slowly becoming unattainable. He thought his brother would be the one thing, the one person, that would never leave him and yet, here he stands, alone and desperate enough for someone to notice him that he’s sitting here in front of this book of black magic, searching for some kind of small, weak spell to cast on himself so that maybe he could be the case for once and that John and Dean would actually notice him. 

The tears are rolling down his face as he casts it. John and Dean are out getting a drink after a hunt, they won’t be back for a while, but the spell takes time and he’s almost afraid that they’ll walk in on him casting it. Over the course of the next week, he’ll start getting sicker, weaker, to the point of death but it won’t kill him, and halfway through it he almost thinks it isn’t worth it, but it’s too late to turn back now, he’s already put the hex back in his pillow and started chanting.

It’s quiet in the cabin for all of five seconds, and then a sudden woosh of air runs through him and he feels like his lungs are collapsing. It’s a good thing he knows where the hex bag is because he thinks he might’ve done it wrong, and he feels like he’s going to die, but moments pass and the feeling gets less and less until it’s just an unsettling weight on his chest.

He wonders when, in his head, it seemed like a good idea to hex himself for attention, but he doesn’t really think about that when Dean steps through the door and instantly sobers up upon seeing Sam looking like death warmed up.

It feels good to have someone’s hands on him, especially Dean’s, feels good to see concern in someone’s eyes for once, and even Dad is worried sick as he demands they head to a hospital. He knows they’ll figure out it’s supernatural once there and the doctors can’t figure out what’s wrong with him, and he’s not really sure how he’ll explain away the random hex bag and the substantial lack of witches in the area but for now it just feels good to have someone care.

It just… feels.


End file.
